i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
