Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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