dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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