I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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