You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
bring money and cleavage
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
