Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
