so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
