After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
