i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize