let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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