dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
