Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
