This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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