so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize