This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I can't turn off my feet"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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