i just wanna soil my oats bro
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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