Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Randomize
