but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
