she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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