dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
