I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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