Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
