Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
