lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Someone signed my nipple.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
