I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
