I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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