direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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