You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize