Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
