The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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