Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
