It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
