do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
