hotel room ftw
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
