I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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