Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
