I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
