We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
