i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
