Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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