I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
