she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I could fuck to npr.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize