Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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