i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
