is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize