I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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