this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
