I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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