I hate your face
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
