Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
