I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you win again, gameday.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
