You're my little dorito
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Girls should come with a carfax report
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
