i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you inspire me to be a worse person
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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