ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
