Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize