I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
