I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
