you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
