dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Let's get the cat blown out
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
