Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
