The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
