i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
