Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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