She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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